This piece is not about The B-52s. It’s not even about Ricky Wilson. For those who don’t know, Ricky Wilson was the original guitar player of the B-52s. He died from AIDS in 1985, at the age of 32.

I love the B-52s. I always had a soft spot for them. Their ridiculous mix of bubblegum nostalgia and spaced out futurism made me laugh, cry and dance at the same time. As a teenager I danced to ‘Dance this mess around‘ whenever it was played at a party. Their canary yellow debut album is still one of my favourite albums ever. ‘Give me back my Man‘ figured prominently on the mix-tapes I created back then, and my playlists of today. ‘Roam‘ continues to be a go-to song, one I come back to more frequently than others songs I know and hold dear.

In 1985 I was 16 years old. I missed the news that Ricky Wilson died (or maybe I don’t remember, maybe I only think that I missed the news). I missed that he died of AIDS. It was not really reported anywhere. I missed that the band went on a hiatus afterwards. And I still don’t know, was I different or was the world different back then?

News was slower, and more selective (was it?). Taboos more actively ignored (where they?). I dont think I knew back in the early 80s that the B-52s were a queer band, or that The Velvet Underground, later Lou Reed, openly advocated gay, queer, bisexual sex, that Pete Shelley went on Top of the Pops challenging the notion of heterosexuality. As late as 1992 I missed Michael Stipe’s coming out.

And I ask myself now, why is it only Bowie’s ‘Boys keep Swinging‘ that I know and understand from that time?It was more than just the weird and wonderful video clip. All these years I actively sold myself the notion that he, him alone, his art, his public persona, convinced me that being different, feeling different, was nothing to be ashamed of.

I ignored the sexuality. Even in my 20s, going around in shorts and tights, hair in a ponytail, with eyeliner and lipstick I ignored it actively. I sold myself a different story. Back from the future or living out the past.

This piece is not not about the B-52s.