The full day search ultimately led to nothing, and his tired mind didn’t drag up a lot of memories. He just spent the whole afternoon searching for a piece of paper, the document she had sent him all those years ago, her personal interpretation of a mix tape, the one he put together just for her, out of love and other romantic considerations. In all likelihood the document wasn’t there anymore, thrown away years ago, in a major clean-up operation, or just to protect and preserve himself. That it had been a forbidden relationship didn’t bother him too much. Much more annoying was his failure to conserve both relationship and associated documentation.

He only remembered 4 songs from that infamous and unfaithful tape: ‘When we two parted’ (The Afghan Whigs, 1993), ‘Confusion the waitress’ (Underworld, 1996), ‘Another girl, another planet’ (The Only Ones, 1978) and ‘Ever fallen in love (with someone you shouldn’t’ve?)’ (Buzzocks, 1978). What struck him most, looking back, was not his romantic foolishness, but that he had failed to take out the Underworld song for the obvious mismatch between his romantic intentions and that one word: waitress. He remembered all of sudden some of her comments. A well deserved question mark for ‘Confusion the waitress’, ‘does a new girl take you to another planet?’ for ‘Another girl, another planet’, and the killer one, reserved for the Buzzcocks song: ‘well yeah, I think I do’.

All of that he missed back in ’96. Most people start to show serious signs of maturity towards the end of their 20s, but not him, he still needed a girl 10 years his junior to tell him about life. He didn’t listen.